


The Big Hairy Pink Elephant

by WordMusician



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, One of those "Bits in between"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 01:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordMusician/pseuds/WordMusician
Summary: Rose and the Doctor are detained when attempting a tourist visit to Kloospecia.  The Doctor gets a surprise.





	The Big Hairy Pink Elephant

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little story that was inspired by a book I was reading. It's funny where the inspiration comes from at times.

She fidgeted under his scrutiny, not for the first time that day, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow her. His choking gasp still rang in her pink tinged hears when the expressionless computer voice had declared her: Earth, homosapien, female, fertile, virgin.

  
That was before the same said computer crashed in a vain attempt to classify the Doctor. It failed to identify his home planet before it’s limited data base collapsed, sending the attending security into ill concealed panic. Too bad it had been a lady’s first kind of day.

  
Their flustered captors had quickly separated them from the rest of disembarking passengers and shoved them in a holding cell and here they stood: Rose, the Doctor and the big hairy pink elephant in the middle of the 8’ x 8’ room.

  
“So....” She broke the silence when she couldn’t take it anymore. “Who is this lot again?”

  
The Doctor blinked before subtly shaking himself and replied, “Kloospexian. By and large they’re a harmless species, not known for violence. Extremely curious and terrific learners; some of the best universities and libraries on this side of the galaxy are here. Really like to catalogue things; hence the compulsory scans at all their arrival terminals and entrances to any major tourist attractions. Funny thing though, I must have the date wrong. It seems I haven’t filled their data base in on Time Lords. This wasn’t a problem the last time I was here...” his words tapered off and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “Rose – “

  
She waved him off and turned away. “S’okay. Dunno why I’m so embarrassed really.” She tried to laugh but it sounded wrong. “It’s not something that comes up in regular conversation ‘n I know I’m kinda old and all but – “

  
“You’re not old, Rose, he interjected gently. “900 years here, give or take.”

Rose shrugged, “You’re different. From where I come from you’re doing it even as young as 14.”

  
“I’m sorry. I never realized. I just thought...well... Mickey?”

  
Rose shook her head. “That was the thing see? We saw what it was like to have sex early and make babies and get stuck in the Estates forever with a family and no good job. We let people just assume... it kept us under the radar.”

  
“And Jimmy?” the Doctor knew very little about that part of Rose’s life, except that she hated it and wanted to forget it ever happened.

  
Predictably she grimaced at the name. “Biggest mistake of my life, he was. He had me all mixed up and believing his stories of making it big with his band and us having a lavish wedding with an A-list posh crowd. He talked me into moving in with him so we could be together more and see if we liked living together. But when he wanted to share more than just the rent with me... well let’s just say that was a deal breaker.” She wouldn’t say more. She couldn’t tell him about the fist that went into the wall inches from her head when she dared to say no yet again. Nor did she want to tell him how purple Jimmy’s face had become when her well placed knee sent him to the floor and let her escape out the apartment door for the last time.

  
Some of her unhappy memories must have appeared on her face, because the Doctor was in her personal space and reaching out to hug her before she had finished banishing those bad memories back from where they came from. As much as she loved his touch, this time she flinched and he quickly pulled away.

  
“Oh, Rose! If I’d known... I’d have... you’d never...” he sputtered and stuttered before running hands through his messy hair. “Rose, I wish you had told me.”

  
“Told you! What? How was that ever going to come up in our conversations?”

  
“It’s important.”

  
“Why?” Rose was suspicious now. How could her virgin status have any bearing on their travelling?

  
“Because...” It was the Doctor’s turn to look away. Suddenly the pattern in the brick wall was evidently very important. Rose thought the pink tint crawling up from his shirt collar was very interesting too.

  
“Why Doctor?” she repeated softly.

  
He sighed then cast a sideways glance her way. “Because it means you haven’t bonded with anyone yet.”

  
“Bonded? Whadda ya mean? Some S & M thing?” her voice was just three degrees short of offended but she fought to keep an open mind. This conversation was uncomfortable and yet she was terribly curious because the Doctor never talked about personal things.

  
A long Time Lord finger traced the seam in the bricks. “S &.... What? No, no. No. When two individuals are physically intimate they exchange not only biogenetic material but also mental and spiritual markers. A bond is formed. They have a permanent connection.”

  
“I know the mechanics of having sex and I understand the mental idea if you mean by that emotional. That’s what I was holding out for: the emotional connection, but spiritual? Really?” Rose was clearly skeptical. “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

  
“I don’t, not in the way most worlds think about God anyway. But Time Lords are telepathic; we can sense things that other species do not. There is definitely a spiritual dimension to life. That is one of the reasons they abandoned physical intimacy and developed looming for procreation purposes. They didn’t want the complication of mental and spiritual bonds to interfere with all their political alliances, intrigues and betrayals.”

  
“Okay....” Rose wasn’t tracking the Doctor very well. She’d instinctively wanted to save her virginity for the love of her life, but it had been more of a practical decision in the end. She’d seen the consequences of choosing otherwise. “So you thought I’d shagged Mickey and Jimmy and lord knows who else and was walking around with all these bond things, is that it? Or does shagging one bloke cancel out the bond with the previous partner?” Her voice was taking on a harder edge. Somehow realizing that the Doctor thought she slept around – even if it was with legitimate boyfriends – hurt.

  
The Doctor winced at the tone of her voice, but bravely answered. “Once bonded, always bonded.” He risked a sideways glance.

  
Rose stared at him flummoxed. So what did that mean? Had he really thought she had all these spiritual connections everywhere? So what? What did it all mean for right now? “Maybe that’s the way it is for Time Lords, but I don’t think that’s how it works at home.”

  
The Doctor shook his head, “It’s a universal constant. If a species has a mind and a spirit as well as a body, it will bond. A little piece of you remains with your partner. I think the Bible says it as “the two shall be as one.”

  
Rose hid her surprise that the Doctor knew the Bible behind a quick quip. “Gives a whole new meaning to hook’n up, doesn’t it?”

  
The Doctor had turned back to face her now.

  
“Okay, so now you know I am without these bonds. What about you, Doctor? How many connections do you have out there?”

  
The Doctor slowly shook his head. The expression in his eyes seemed to be telling her something, but she wasn’t hearing it. “What? You mean in all of 900 years you’ve never....?”

  
Slowly he shook his head again.

 

“But, you said you were a father once.”

  
“They were loomed. Each partner donated TNA material and the machines created children. We were never intimate.” He rubbed his eye, physically trying to wipe away the images of all he had lost. “And then when I ran away to the stars, well, I hardly wanted to be spiritually connected over all of time and space. Much too complicated, even for me.”

  
“Not like Jack then.”

  
“Definitely not like Jack! Although...if interplanetary peace can ever be brokered through spiritual bonding, Jack is well on his way to knitting an impressive network.” The Doctor smirked and Rose giggled and the awkwardness between them faded with the shared humor.

  
Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of two guards who wanted the Doctor to go with them for further study and eventual classification. Rose protested at being separated, but the Doctor reassured her that once they had their information all would be well and they would be released. He paused to cup her face with his hands and plant a lingering kiss on her forehead before sauntering out the door.

  
“I’ll be right back, Rose. Don’t go wandering off,” he called over his shoulder.

  
“Yeah, right,” she replied before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. There was nothing to be done but wait.

  
Rose pondered their conversation. The idea of having a bond with a person because of having sex was intriguing. It certainly flew in the face of contemporary Earth ideas. If it were true then there was nothing casual about casual sex. Rose was suddenly very grateful for her status. There was no one she would want to have to share a lifelong bond with. Well, maybe there was one. Yeah, there was one. But he didn’t feel that way about her. What had he said? “Much too complicated...” Rose sighed and rested her head on her knees. She could understand that. She didn’t like it, but she could understand it.

 

The Doctor graciously met with the Kloospexians to fill out the forms about his planet of origin and species, but more than once he had to catch himself in giving his answers. His mind was preoccupied with the revelation he had received concerning Rose.

  
The part of him which prided himself on scientific knowledge had been thoroughly chagrined to discover he had failed to know this fact much earlier. A discreet scan would have done the trick. The TARDIS probably knew already, and he’d never thought to check. He’d just assumed and that had been the trap.

  
But quickly crowding out his chastisement was the dangerous rush of joy which nearly sent him into back flips and urged him to high five the computer and kiss the Klospexian examiners. Rose had no bonds! No one had a claim upon her! She was free and unencumbered!

  
How had he not sensed this before? Big time lord brain in a coward’s body, that’s how. He’d been afraid to take a peek. Of course he’d told himself he was being respectful and circumspect and that Rose was entitled to her privacy, but that was all a smoke screen for the real reason, the big ugly truth of the matter. He had been afraid she was already taken.

  
He had been disturbed at how easily Rose had slipped under his warrior armor and begun to heal the battle scars. He had been nervous at how quickly she became his “plus one”, emphasis on the “one”. He had been frightened at how impossibly important one pink and yellow human girl became to his mental well being and he’d been terrified to live without her when he sent her away from the Dalek’s on the Game Station.

  
When Rose defied him to return as an extension of the TARDIS known as Bad Wolf, he felt terror at a new level. In the past he’d been afraid for himself. Now he was afraid for her and what she had become because of him. He’d gladly given his life to save her and with his dying breath he had brushed her mind and locked away the memory of the Wolf. But he’d done it out of fear. Not that he was afraid of changing; he’d done that eight times already. He was afraid of Rose changing, of Rose leaving him behind because he was so unworthy and she was so magnificent.

  
So he never let himself look too close or delve too deep for fear of learning too much. He kept his distance and insulated himself with words and adventures and too many layers of clothing.  
Until today when an impassive, impartial computer voice dissolved all the locks and bolts and threw open the door to hope. A longing so deep, so powerful, so overwhelming it had to be stuffed down and deadlocked sealed away had suddenly burst forth and danced unrestrained across his frontal cortex.

  
Rose was free to become his bondmate.

  
Yet he was still afraid. With hope came also chance of failure. She was his companion, his best mate. He shouldn’t dare for more...

  
“Thank you Doctor.”

  
His attention snapped back to the present.

  
“Your information will be added to our collection of known species and distributed throughout our data bases. Should another of your kind choose to visit our fair planet, there will be no uncomfortable delays.”

  
The Doctor didn’t bother to advise that there were no other’s of his kind. Such information would undoubtedly lead to more questions and he was most anxious to get back to Rose.  
A Kloospexian guard ushered him out of the room but did not lead him back the way of the holding cells. The Doctor experienced a flash of panic. He was about to protest – loudly if necessary – when they passed through a security door and there she was: sitting in a waiting room alcove just beyond the classification checkpoint. A knot in his chest loosened.

  
“All right then?”

  
“Yep, right as rain. Now, as promised, let me show you the sites of Kloospecia.” He offered his hand and was gratified that she took it. The big hairy pink elephant was content to stay behind...for today.


End file.
